Savin' Me
by Sultan Peppershaker
Summary: We all have weaknesses... little gaps in our armor... it's just that some are too small to have much of an effect, and others are so large that they nearly end up being our downfall...


**Hm. Well, after some deliberation, I've decided to stop publishing these things. So here ya go. It's the final countdown.**

**Give me a break if this seems bad. I wrote the whole thing in the span of five hours.  
**

* * *

It scares me every time. 

Just wondering what would've happened if I decided to keep walking on… it's such a frightening thought.

It was June 23rd… the last day of school. I was so excited about it. Well we all were, really… A whole two months without homework, teachers, or mandatory early mornings. What more could a teenager want?

I put down my pencil and stared at the whiteboard as I finished my chemistry final. I was reasonably sure I'd scored a B on it, though I wasn't exactly confident about the last ten questions.

Finally, the bell rang, and I was about ready to spring up and run straight out of that building for the next two months. That is, until Dr. Ross called me to her desk.

"Owen, you owe a dollar," she stated, matter-of-factly.

"A dollar? What? This can't BE!" I protested.

"Relax, Mr. Briggs, it's just for book damages."

I'd forgotten that the family dog had gotten a hold of my book. I handed over the book and didn't even wait for so much as a goodbye before I was out the door.

I took a satisfying whiff of the air as I savored the moment. I just kept thinking to myself that the moment I was in was the absolute longest before school started up again. This was going to be a great summer, I could tell. I was really going to make some stuff happen that summer, I kept telling myself.

I decided to walk home, since I didn't really live that far from school, and that it was a pretty nice day outside. I was about to turn on my iPod, when I heard a few noises around the corner. At first, I heard something that sounded like a small whimper, than a loud smacking sound, and someone whispering something along the lines of, "shut up, you bitch…".

I edged around the corner and saw three juniors surrounding a helpless-looking sophomore. From the looks of it, they had slammed her against the wall and started beating her. I knew I couldn't just leave her alone… I knew that Via would never do that.

I always wanted to be more like Via ever since I met her. She was so nice, so together… she always knew just what to do. I always liked that about her. I sometimes wish I'd told her that I wanted to be more like her, but I'm pretty sure she knows what kind of an impact she made on me. I just never got around to telling her before she left for England again.

"Leave her alone," I warned, summoning up my courage as I advanced towards them. The three boys looked over to me. And even though we were all juniors (aside from the girl they were beating up), they still looked a little frightened. This was probably because I was a few inches taller than all of them.

"I said LEAVE HER ALONE!" I shouted, landing a punch squarely on the jaw of the one closest to me. The rest must have realized I meant business, because they all ran down the alley, away from me.

I crouched down next to the girl they were attacking. "Are you okay?" I asked, tenderly putting an arm on her shoulder.

"I… I don't know…" a timid voice whispered. "Are you sure they're gone?"

"They're gone," I assured her.

She remained silent for a little while. I suppose she may have been looking around, but I couldn't tell, because her hair was covering her face.

"Can you stand up?" I asked. "Do you think you broke anything?"

"I'm not sure…" she muttered. She got onto all fours, and spit out a bit of blood. Rubbing her nose, she noticed that was bleeding slightly, as well. I couldn't help but think her voice sounded slightly familiar as she got up and, looking down the street, muttered, "I don't think anything's broken…"

I gently turned her towards me and brushed her hair away from her face. "Oh, Bonnie…" I muttered. She just looked back up at me with sad eyes.

"Thank you so much, Owen…" she muttered, hugging me. I didn't care about the blood stain she left on my shirt.

"But… would it be too much trouble to ask you one more thing?"

"Not at all," I replied.

"Could you… walk home with me? I… don't… they might come after me again…"

"No problem," I said.

"Thank you…" Bonnie muttered. She took a few steps, then started hopping a bit, wincing whenever she put too much strain on her right foot.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I don't know… my ankle hurts…" she muttered. I went over to her, and she slung her arm around my shoulder.

"You know, I'm throwing a party this weekend, if you're not doing anything," I muttered, as we walked to her home.

"Um…" Bonnie muttered. "I don't know… I might not be able to make it…"

"Oh, come on… it'll be fun…"

"I don't know… it's just that… ugh. I don't know."

"Come on… you'll have a great time…"

"Hm… I guess I'll try and make it…" she eventually gave in. "How will I get there?"

"Keely should be going, so you could just ride over with her…"

"Okay… I guess we'll see if I can make it, then…" she muttered.

We talked about little things all the way to her house; what our plans for the summer were, how we think we did on our finals, just little things that don't really matter.

When we arrived at her house, I asked her, "Is anybody else home?"

"I don't think so… I guess that's just as well, I can clean myself up…"

"Okay… and do try and make it to that party tomorrow night, okay? I really want to see you there…"

Bonnie grimaced for a second, then smiled. "I'll try," she whispered.

_**Come on, my star is fading  
And I swerve out of control  
If I, if I'd only waited  
I'd not be stuck here in this hole  
Come here, my star is fading  
And I swerve out of control  
And I swear I waited and waited  
I've got to get out of this hole**_

The day of the party came, and Phil and I were waiting for people to show up.

"So how do you think you did on Dr. Ross's test?" Phil asked.

"I probably pulled a B," I replied, confidently. "So I'm not too worried…"

"I would be, if I were you…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

The doorbell rang, which Phil used as a convenient excuse to drop the conversation.

Pretty soon, the whole house was getting pretty crowded. I was walking around, talking to everyone, when I spotted Bonnie sitting on the couch. She looked great; I couldn't even tell that she'd been attacked just the previous day.

"Hey, Bonnie," I greeted, sitting down next to her. "I'm glad you could make it!"

"Yeah… me too…" she muttered. "There sure are a lot of people here…"

"Yeah… And I pretty much only told three people… you, Keely, and this kid from my math class. I just knew they'd tell everybody else…"

"Uh huh…" she muttered.

"Have you been sitting here the whole time?" I asked.

"No… no… yeah…"

"Why?" I asked. "There's tons of people to talk to here!"

"But I don't know them all that well…" she protested as I gently got her to her feet.

"Don't worry about that, they're really nice people…" I reassured her. I led her over to a small group of people, where Tia and Phil were talking. I figured she'd be a bit more comfortable around them, since she knew them.

"Hey, Briggs!" a kid named Josh from my English class said, "Kwon-Shwartz here was just telling me about your old band… what kind of name is 'The White Octave'?"

"Tia…" I muttered, shaking my head at her. " 'The White Octave' is a name that Phil made up on the fly. Somebody asked us what our name was and we didn't really give it much thought. So he made up 'The White Octave'…"

"Hey, like you'd be able to think of anything like that on the spot…" Phil muttered.

"Yeah, it could've been worse, but '_The White Octave_'?" I asked, incredulously. "Come on!"

"Whatever, man," Josh said, as Tia led him over to the dance floor.

"Hm…" Phil muttered. "Think I'm going to go find Keely… she really likes this song, if you know what I mean…"

This left Bonnie and myself standing alone.

"Um…" I muttered, scratching the back of my neck, "I don't suppose you'd want to dance… would you?"

Bonnie paused for a second, before saying, "Sure, why not?"

She seemed a bit nervous and timid at first, but after a while, she seemed to really… warm up, so to speak. It… blew me away, really.

When most everybody had filed out of the house, she took me aside into a different room. "Listen, Owen… I… just wanna thank you… I had a great time here…"

"Ah, well I'm glad you did," I said, smiling. Deciding to go out on a limb, I timidly asked, "Would it be alright if I called you sometime tomorrow?"

She smiled, which was a huge relief for me. "Of course!" She scribbled her phone number onto a small piece of paper, and handed it over to me. "Talk to you later!" she said, perkily. I watched her walk out to the car, where Phil and Keely were just saying goodbye.

_**But time is on your side  
It's on your side now  
Not pushing you down and all around  
It's no cause for concern**_

I called her up the next day, and we talked for longer than I ever remember being on the phone with another person. And the great thing is that we talked about _everything_. And there weren't really any awkward silences in there. We agreed to meet that Tuesday again… Pretty soon, we were seeing each other practically every day.

I'd never felt this way about anyone since Via. She was smart, beautiful, funny, talented, attractive… well, I could go on forever. I won't bore you with that…

We were inseparable, nearly to the point of making Keely physically ill. At least, that's what she told us. I'm reasonably sure she was just joking around, though.

Honestly, on the rare occasions that I did think about it, I couldn't understand why those juniors were beating up on Bonnie. She's such a sweet girl… so nice and caring… She wouldn't even hurt a worm. I never brought it up with her, though, because I figured that would upset her. I never wanted to make her unhappy. Never.

After all, if I made her unhappy, she might have left me. I can't begin to imagine what that would've done to me. We were just so close… taking her away would've been like taking away oxygen. I can't live without oxygen… and I certainly can't live without Bonnie in my life… honestly…

Even though the summer just flew by, it was the best one I'd ever had, without a doubt. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

We'd hang out a lot at lunch during school, since we only had one class together (we were both in the same math class). My friends would tease me about going out with a junior, but I didn't care. I can't remember ever being happier than I was with her. I'd miss her if she was sick… and most of the time I'd just go over to her house after school if she was. She always hated when I did that, because she was afraid that I'd get sick, but I didn't care. I'd just tell her how much I loved her, and she'd always reluctantly let me inside.

_**Come on, oh my star is fading  
And I see no chance of release  
And I know I'm dead on the surface  
But I am screaming underneath**_

We weren't able to spend as much time together when I went into college. We'd still keep in touch and call whenever we could, but it was a big adjustment. I'd sometimes go months without seeing her.

She always told me about how well she was doing in school, and how well the school's girl's soccer team was doing.

There were a lot of nights where I couldn't sleep and I'd just look at all her old notes and pictures. It was better than nothing, and a lot of times, it would help me sleep better. It was just those rare occasions when I thought of what happened on June 23rd… then I'd be lucky to get an hour of sleep.

But I'd always get an email the next day, and I'd immediately forget all about June 23rd.

Before I even knew what hit me, she sent me an email about her graduation. She'd been chosen as valedictorian (which didn't surprise me in the least), and said it'd be great if I could make it.

Of course I was going to go. I'd sooner chew off a thumb than miss something so important to her.

So it sort of surprised me when she said, "Owen! You showed up!" and gave me a hug. I wasn't complaining, I was just surprised that she didn't think I would show.

"Of course I did, I couldn't miss this!" I said to her.

"I'm just so glad you showed up…" She took a deep breath, and confessed, "I've never been more nervous in my life… I don't know if I can go through with giving this speech…"

"Of course you can! You're _Bonnie_! Is there anything you _can't_ do?"

She smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, Owen… but I'm serious, this is really nerve-wracking…"

"Bonnie… you'll do great. Just imagine, I'm the only one here. You're just talking to me… just completely disregard the rest of them. They're not even there…"

"Thanks… I'll try to do this, at least. For you…"

"Good luck up there, Bonnie…"

_**And time is on your side  
It's on your side now  
Not pushing you down  
And all around, no  
It's no cause for concern**_

The principal made basically the same speech he had for my class the previous year. I waited somewhat patiently, eagerly anticipating Bonnie's speech. A few teachers made speeches, the foreign exchange student reminded us all that we're all like leaves in a tree, connected to the same trunk via twigs and branches, and that we must be able to see these branches in order to take a step towards ending evil and hatred in this world. It was really a rather touching speech, but I was just too caught up in waiting for Bonnie to really appreciate it.

Finally, the moment I'd been waiting for came.

"And now… your valedictorian… Miss Bonnie Teslow…" the principal announced. Bonnie walked onto the stage to a loud applause, smiling and waving at a few people she spotted in the crowd.

"Good afternoon… fellow classmates… friends, family… to everybody here… as you all know, graduation is when we take our first step towards the real world… when we turn our focus away from H. G. Wells Junior-Senior High School… but, even more importantly, it is a time to look back…

_**Stuck on the end of this ball and chain  
And I'm on my way back down again  
Stood on a bridge, tied to the noose  
Sick to the stomach  
You can say what you mean  
But it won't change a thing  
I'm sick of the secrets**_

"This is a time for all of us to look back into our past, and thank all of those who have helped us along the way. All our parents, siblings… and especially our friends…" she added, glancing over to where I was sitting. "We… we have a chance to look back at our past… all the memories throughout these eighteen or so years we've been here… to look back at all the happy memories… and all the sad ones… all our strongest days… and… perhaps most importantly of all… our weakest moments."

She took a short, steadying breath before continuing. "Some of us do the smallest things without giving them so much as a second thought. Just ordinary everyday things… people will go through life, taking these things for granted. But some little things we do really have an impact on people… we all do it. Every single one of us. We'll give people nasty looks… we'll say some things that people might take the wrong way, or take offense to… even if that's not what we intended. The little things are always the most important…

"I'm going to tell you all a story about a friend I had back in eighth grade… Her name was Chelsea. Chelsea was a nice enough girl… she got about average grades… she never cared enough to apply herself to school. Her teachers recognized her potential, and they'd often talk to her parents about it. But Chelsea… Chelsea just dismissed it. 'Who cares?' she'd think to herself. It was all the same to her in the end.

"Chelsea had quite a few friends. She'd hang out with them, talk with them… but none of them seemed to understand what Chelsea was going through… she felt like… like an artist… an artist, expressing himself through his paintings, but nobody can understand his pain through what the canvas shows… they didn't listen to her… they didn't know how… so she felt alone. We all know the feeling… the feeling that nobody's there to catch you when you fall… she felt that way every day… and it was a pain that kept getting stronger… she told me about what she was thinking sometimes… things like that nobody could understand what her poems really meant… that she really just wanted someone who really _got_ her… I'd talk to her, but I guess she just thought I was like the rest of them… that I just couldn't understand her.

"She wouldn't hang out with her friends as much… which made people make fun of her. They'd taunt her… they never really did anything to her physically, but anybody could see what kind of a toll that the things they said was taking on her inside… here was this lonely girl, crying out for help, and people would just make fun of her… because they just couldn't understand the pain she was going through. She had nobody to turn to when she felt lost or afraid… she was an only child, her parents didn't understand her… all she could do was write her poetry…

"So one day, in the late winter… Chelsea went to her locker, and took out all her books, all her things, and began to walk home. I asked why she was taking her books home, and she explained that she had a lot of homework to finish. I thought it was so odd that she'd take home all her books to finish homework, since she never really bothered to apply herself…

"While Chelsea was walking home that day, she tripped over a rock that she didn't see, because of the pile of books she had to carry. All her things went flying, and her glasses landed in the grass a few feet in front of her. She gathered up her books, trying to hold back her tears, and was about to search for her glasses when she heard somebody come up to her. 'Are these yours?' a boy asked, holding her glasses in front of her.

"She thanked the boy, as he helped her pick up her books. He asked if she wanted to come to his house over the weekend, since he didn't really know who she was… she ended up going… she found out that this boy really listened to her when she talked to him… that he was really unique… like nobody she'd ever met in her life… those two are still together today… and I couldn't be happier because of it…

_**Stood on the edge, tied to the noose  
You came along and you cut me loose**_

"Because that day that she met this boy, Chelsea had no intention of doing homework over the weekend. Oh no. She was going to kill herself. The pain had just become too hard for her to handle. The only reason she cleaned out her locker was so that her parents wouldn't have to do it later. So how do I know so much about what happened? Well… _I'm_ Chelsea."

The whole crowd was dead silent. Here she was, valedictorian, the most beautiful girl in school, telling us all about her darkest moment. I'd never even had a clue about it the whole time we were together. If somebody had dropped a pin, it probably would have startled everybody.

"The littlest gestures can have unimaginable impacts. Please… thank your parents… thank your siblings… and thank your friends for always being there for you when you needed them the most… Owen… I owe you everything…" She smiled at me, a single tear escaping her eye. I didn't even notice about half the crowd look over at me. "Thank you, everybody," she said, and left the podium.

A few seconds of silent hung over the crowd before everyone burst into applause. I slowly looked around, and spotted Bonnie's mother and sisters, giving me that same smile that she had after thanking me.

_**You came along and you cut me loose**_

After the ceremony was over, I was nearly tackled by Keely giving me a bear hug.

"Owen… I… I don't even know what to say…" she blubbered. "Thank you so much…"

In my own defense, I said, "All I did was invite her to the party…"

"But you did so much more for her than just that… you gave her so much hope… I never even knew what she was going through…"

"Neither did I…" I muttered.

"Owen…" Keely muttered, "I just… I don't think I could ever thank you enough for what you did for me… for Bonnie… for all of us, really," she added, gesturing to her sister Ashley and her mother.

"I just… I never knew…" I kept muttering. Everything was so heavy to me at that moment. I thought back to that day… what would've happened if I hadn't heard Bonnie moaning? What would've happened if I drove home? What would've happened if I didn't have to stay that extra few minutes to pay for the repairs for the book? I couldn't even bring myself to think of things like that.

Ashley and Bonnie's mother both hugged and thanked me, which made me feel a little embarrassed. Bonnie's friends and even people I didn't know were coming up to me and saying things to me.

Somebody tapped on my shoulder, and, expecting someone else I hadn't met, I turned around. Bonnie swiftly kissed me on the lips. I could distinctly hear Keely and Ashley say, "Aww…"

"Owen… I'm sorry I never told you before… I just couldn't think of how to say it…"

I honestly didn't know what to say. "Don't worry about it… you're safe now…"

"And I'm grateful for it every day… I… I have something for you," she muttered, pulling out an aged piece of paper.

"What is it?" I asked, opening it up.

"Just a poem I wrote on that day…" she muttered.

_I destroy homes, I tear families apart  
I'll take your children, and rip out your heart_

_I'm more costly than diamonds, more destructive than war  
The sorrow I bring is a sight to abhor_

_When you think of me, I'm easily found  
I am all around you, in schools and in town_

_I life with the rich, I live with the poor  
I live down the street, and maybe next door_

_I can be found anywhere you'll think  
I'll nestle into you and cause you to sink_

_I'm in your kid's closet, I'm off in the woods  
Do I scare you to death? I certainly should_

_If you know someone who keeps themselves inside  
Perhaps they've met me; my name's suicide_

_My power's destructive, more than you'll see  
If you think of me, you may not break free_

_Encounter me once, I might let you go  
But meet me again, and I'll own your soul_

_When I'm inside you, you'll hate and you'll lie  
You'll stay up at night, and sleep after you cry_

_You'll yell at your mother, you'll lie to your dad  
If you saw their tears, would you feel sad?_

_You'll forget your morals, and how you were raised  
When I'm in your conscience, you take on my ways_

_I take kids from parents, and parents from their kin  
You'll think you're escaping, but you know you can't win_

_I'll take everything away, your looks and your pride  
You won't ever escape me, I'll be right by your side_

_You'll give up your home, your family, your life  
Your money will leave, your only friend your knife_

_Don't say you weren't warned, this isn't a game  
If I get the chance, I'll drive you insane_

_I'll mutilate your body, control your mind  
I'll steal your soul in an unbreakable bind_

_I'll give you such nightmares when you're in your bed  
You'll hear taunting voices that live just in your head_

_The sweating, the shaking, the horrors you'll see  
Just to let you know, these are all things from me_

_It will be to late when you know in your heart  
That you're mine forever, and we'll never part_

_You didn't think this would happen, no matter what you were told  
But you were so weak, when you once were so bold_

_You could have reached out and asked for help along the way  
If you lived that day over, is that what you'd say?_

_I will bring your loved ones more misery than one can tell  
So come take my hand, child. And I'll lead you to hell._

"I don't know why I kept it," Bonnie muttered. "Maybe I just kept it as a reminder of what happened… and what I'll never let happen again…" She shook her head. "I'm not sure why…"

I looked up at her and she kissed me again, this time more slowly and passionately. "I love you, Owen…"

"I love you… more than I could ever say, Bonnie…"

Bonnie hugged her sisters and her mother, pocketed her old poem, and we all walked off to the car.

_**You came along and you cut me loose.**_


End file.
